An Iranian Married a Jew

Dearly Beloved,

We are gathered here today to take part in holy matrimony—

to witness and support these two young lovers in marriage.

To embrace this sacred union.

To let it mimic the union of every nation,

every feuding, warring clan—

to lay down their weapons for one day,

to stop the fighting,

to allow this twinkle of light

in our long, ancient history of darkness.

Can we give them a chance?

If an Iranian man can marry a Jewish woman—

then perhaps the Jewish state

may someday be in sacred peace with the Iranian nation.

They may sit at the same table.

They may call each other’s parents their own.

They may buy gifts for one another’s nieces and nephews.

They may, themselves, create a child—

as strong in his Jewish identity

as he is in his Iranian one.

But oh, what a future is born

if this child is raised in a secular nation—

where her Jewishness or Iranian-ness,

his Zionism or Islamism,

becomes not so important anymore.

Perhaps instead this child will be more focused on creating

a very cool tiktok channel where she names her stuffed animals

and enjoys tea parties with a gaggle of friends who have little to say about

where they are from, what they believe in, or who deserves punishment

Would it be so bad?

Or perhaps,

when he plays soccer with a co-ed team

and the jersey is a bit too small,

and “Farahani-Weinstein” won’t quite fit—

they make it short:

Farastein.

Haniwein.

It’s kind of nice.

Sounds like honeywine.

Okay, okay—I digress.

Let’s get these two to exchange the rings—

symbols of enduring love

and the unbroken promise

of this holy rite of passage.

With this ring, I thee wed—

Sarah Weinstein and Hossein Farahani—

so that they may be forever bonded together.

And with the strength of this wedding ring,

forged in Nano gold and lab grown diamonds,

we bless this holy matrimony

with all of our love and support.

Now repeat after me:

Sarah,

with this ring I promise to love you,

to cherish you,

and to stay beside you

all the days of my life.

Hossein,

with this ring I promise to love you,

to cherish you,

and to stay beside you

all the days of my life.

With the power vested in me—

to seal this union before the church, temple, synagogue, the state,

and this beautiful world—

and in the presence of your family,

your community,

and global audience of admirers—

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

Wa alaikum salam. L’chaim.

Peace be upon you—and to life.

You may kiss your bride.

May I present to you: Mr. and Mrs. Haniwein